We Are HKers - Derek Chan | Writing Hong Kong from a distance -- yellow objects．黃色物件

Derek Chan 陳嘉昊 grew up in colonial Hong Kong, studied in Norway, and currently lives in Vancouver. He received his BFA in theatre performance from Simon Fraser University. A playwright, director, performer, translator, and producer, Derek has been co-artistic director of rice & beans theatre since 2010.

“Change is messy. Change takes time.
Change is scary and change hurts sometimes, but change is necessary.”

Journalist: Lee An Jing

Photo: Provided by interviewee

Editorial: Zucchhi, Flore Herbe, I’m Speechless, Windlikes

[This story is also featured on Apple Daily.]

Beginning in Hong Kong

When I was a child in Hong Kong, I used to go to my paternal grandmother’s place after school to wait for my dad. Once in a while, on our way home, he would take me to a wooden cart hawker under a viaduct where they sold fried chicken legs. My dad would always try to make sure I got the right chicken leg so the crispy chicken skin would face my mouth.

I didn’t have much of a childhood, or maybe I just had a very typical one. I went to the elementary school at which my father taught. There wasn’t a lot of room to mess around, and I was always a little scared of him. I played instruments, had recital competitions, and played sports including a lot of volleyball. I studied hard and did so well, I was at the top of my class every year.

I think my childhood in Hong Kong really instilled in me that I always need to strive to be the best I can be. Today, I am constantly asking myself if I am doing the best, or if I can do even better. The answer is almost always, “Yes, Derek. You can do better.” It’s stressful. I might be less stressed if I hadn’t been taught that, but I probably wouldn’t have got to where I am now.

My dad is a pretty typical, stoic Chinese man, but we had some close times. He took me to the first ever 4th June Vigil at Victoria Park when I was 3 years old. When I think about these memories, I notice how our elders get politically milder as they age. By that, I mean “more compliant” and “less vocal”, and I want to clarify that those are two different things.

I think this is due to a combination of a few factors. On a personal level, one might perceive that they have more to lose as lives go on: career, children, property, things that tie them to other people. I am not 100% sure if that is sound logic, considering for young people, losing their future is losing everything. However, it's difficult to compare the experiences of different people.

Another factor could be the length of time that they have been exposed to propaganda, subtle or blatant. I thought TVB was supposed to be the good guys growing up. I thought Ming Pao was legit news and Apple Daily was a tabloid rag. Not everything is that black and white. Media is a powerful tool to change people's minds with many tactics that can be hard to detect.

The third factor could be that people tend to romanticise the past, discredit the present, and doubt the future. It's easy to grow jaded and give up. It’s a very human reaction especially when it comes to stopping a seemingly immovable force, eroding everything that the Hong Kong spirit stands for.

Fight to keep fighting

In 2014, we knew they had lied about universal suffrage. 2014 felt like the beginning of something, and now with the National Security Law, it feels like the end of a chapter, but not the end of it all. It’s not subtle anymore. It is as if China just stepped in, saying “we’re doing it our way now”. Since I’m a pessimist, I always knew that this would happen, but I honestly didn’t expect it to happen so soon.

China is already committing terrible crimes in Xinjiang. I think other countries have underestimated China. Or perhaps they simply don’t care? I notice the fear that’s been instilled in me by China and I notice it affecting me even here in Vancouver.

I hope people see me as a supporter of the pro-democracy movement even though my capacity to contribute varies day to day. There is a real emotional toll and some days, I don’t even want to discuss it with other Hongkongers, but I’d rather people ask me about it than not. I hope that I am helping by talking about it whenever I can, both to people who know what’s going on and those who don’t. If you can do something physically, whether it’s changing behaviour or language, it’s a good start.

I also have an element of survivor's guilt. I got out and now many others cannot. I feel like I didn’t go back nearly enough when I could. The last time I visited was for a funeral, close to a decade ago. I technically can go back, but it wouldn’t be a good decision at this point.

Writing Home

I’ve been working on yellow objects 黃色物件 for a year now. The play keeps changing because the situation in Hong Kong continues to develop and the question is, how fast can I write? Am I writing a snapshot in time? Or is this story more situationally global?

I believe that this play is the beginning of a series of more stories. There is already so much to tell.

Right now, the first half is set in the future (beyond 2047) where we learn that the protagonist’s grandmother was a significant political figure in Hong Kong around 2019-2020. Upon her arrival in Hong Kong and learning the truth and history of her family, how does our young Hongkonger reconcile her guilt about her family’s past? How does anyone accomplish this when their family or loved ones are so vehemently “blue”?

In the second act, we follow two teenage boys through a series of true events in 2019. These two young men are forced to navigate the tumultuous political landscape at an age when they should be figuring out themselves, what they want, what they like, whether they like each other, and how they like each other. They should be figuring out their own adolescence, not spending it in a detention centre. We also meet several others including the wife of a police officer and future leaders. We get a glimpse into what “blueness” looked like in 2019 and a prediction of what it will become.

Right now, I am trying to pinpoint: why? Why are these scenes set in these places? What are we trying to say about these events? Aside from the political undertones, I really want to focus on the humanity of these characters, and how they got to where they are.

In talking to my mentors, I see that sometimes activism or revolution is really the struggle to keep fighting. For a lot of us, it’s a huge hurdle.

I am writing the juxtaposition of hope and hopelessness and how they can exist simultaneously—how they have to, or we can’t do anything.

“i’m not chinese
i am a hongkonger

i’m in many ways privileged
but i also grew up not knowing democracy
nor freedom of speech, self-determination
and now
by some twisted fate
i stand in front of you
/given/ the privilege to think, to speak, and to be heard
i don’t claim to speak for anybody but myself
my words are far from definitive or profound, i know that

so don’t listen to me
but instead listen to everybody else:
the voiceless, the silenced, and the oppressed
listen to those who don’t have a voice
listen to those who can’t breathe
listen to those who
just
can’t
breathe
listen, and take action
listen
take action

change is messy, change takes time
change is scary, and change hurts sometimes
but change is necessary
so take action, do something
do something even when you can’t
fight for something you believe in
believe in something, dammit, people
believe in something”

— An excerpt from Derek’s Acceptance Speech at the 2020 Jessie Richardson Theatre Awards (Sydney Risk Award for Outstanding Original Play by an Emerging Playwright)

“I am Derek Chan. I am a HKer.”

Support Us

Support our Journalism with a Contribution

Many people might not know this, but despite our large team of contributors, which we are immensely grateful for, We Are HKers is still a small bootstrapped group that runs on no outside funding and loans. Everything you see today is built on the backs of warriors who have sacrificed opportunities, time, meals and sleep to help give HKers all over the world a voice and keep our culture alive.

However, we still face many trials in the running of our platform, from finding the necessary equipment for our video interviews, to subscribing to the necessary tools to facilitate our remote work process of our global team, to trying not to get fired from our main jobs as we run this project secretly in the background, and to keeping our platform running and storing our files securely.

We hope you consider making a contribution, so we can continue to provide you with moving stories of HKers all over the world and keep our heritage and culture alive. Even a £1 contribution goes a long way. Thank you for everyone’s support. We love you all and can’t appreciate you guys enough.

**Please note that your support of We Are HKers Ltd. does NOT constitute a charitable donation. We really appreciate your support in independent journalism. If you have any questions about contributing to We Are HKers, please contact us here.

Read more stories

HKers' Stories

【Video】Warren Stuart | Godfather of skateboarding – Persistence and community (Part 1)

Warren Stuart is a Hongkonger who helped shape the skateboarding community in Hong Kong. In Part I, he recounts his earliest memories of the sport, and explains Hong Kong’s skateboarding scene. He also offers advice for amateur skateboarders.

Gary Yau | Hong Kong Road Signs and Prison Gothic Font Preservation

Gary Yau, a Hongkonger in his 20s, created the “Road Research Society” in 2016. He has spent several years cataloguing the remaining 500-600 road signs featuring Hong Kong’s unique bilingual “Prison Gothic” font and have reproduced this font in published books and online posts that share information regarding roadways.

Michelle Cheung | Paragon Tea Room—Tea for the open-minded

Michelle Cheung is a prolific young business owner who is making waves in the Vancouver cafe scene. Her current endeavour: Paragon Tea Room, has just celebrated its 2nd anniversary, boasts a modest 4.8 stars on Google, and attracts guests from all over the Greater Vancouver area. Born and raised in Hong Kong, she never planned to have a career in Canada, but now that she’s cultivating a gateway for Vancouver to connect with Eastern tea traditions, she hopes she can make Hong Kong proud someday. Read on to discover her ambitions for Paragon and beyond.

【Video】House of To Kwa Wan Stories | Home uprooted in the name of development - Farewell imminent, but community lives on

House of To Kwa Wan Stories, or “To Home” was established in Hung Fuk Street back in 2014 and now operates alongside Fixing Hong Kong and Community Cultural Concern. To Home is a one-of-a-kind community space, pushing for community development and the recording and archiving of To Kwa Wan’s stories, aimed at entering and being part of the community. With To Kwa Wan as a base camp, To Home hopes to connect the community as if it were a family, and to defend the ecumene that holds countless stories and tales. As To Kwa Wan is designated for urban renewal, and To Home’s fate is sealed along with its neighbours, members of To Home are now racing against the clock to maintain and record the fading area’s culture and vibe. In this interview, we have Sui Ling and Bun sharing their work and feelings as To Home faces the independent fate of urban renewal and eviction.

Toda Nakataro | Director of ‘Chronicle’ animated music video–The mind and thoughts are our final fortress

Toda Nakataro is a young multimedia artist. This year they produced the music video for “Chronicle” by The Hertz, a local Hong Kong band, and received resounding positive feedback. Many viewers were impressed and surprised to see such high-calibre animations created in Hong Kong.

Anki Suen | Chinese calligraphy tattoo artist - Pursuing a happy life

At the age of 25, Anki quit a job she loved, but which limited her creativity. She became a tattoo artist, taking back her voice in creation and became her own boss. Let’s follow her along this journey.

【Video】Peter Chan│Reality is more absurd than a script. We won’t give up until our last breath

Peter Chan is a Hong Kong actor with extensive experience. He was nominated for Best New Performer in the 13th Asian Film Awards and the 38th Hong Kong Film Awards. During the pandemic, he fell into deep despair which prompted self reflection: as an actor, can I do something for humanity?

【Video】Albert Wan | The Power of Human Stories

Albert Wan left his life as a lawyer in the United States, where he grew up, to become a bookstore owner in Hong Kong, where his parents are from. Together with his wife, he opened Bleak House, one of the few independent bookstores in Hong Kong that specialises in English books.

Dr Lucci Lugee Liyeung | Holding a scalpel by day and a paintbrush by night

Dr Lucci Lugee Liyeung treats numerous orthopedics patients by day, but once she takes off her scrubs, she is an artist that gives life to many popular cartoon characters. When she talks about these characters, her eyes sparkle with excitement. She hopes that her creations will give Hongkongers positive energy during these difficult times.

Derek Chan | Writing Hong Kong from a distance -- yellow objects．黃色物件