We Are HKers - Jade | Reconnecting with Hong Kong - “I felt isolated navigating my identity and politics.”

Jade is a web developer in her late 20s living in Canada. Though born and bred in Canada, she decided to hop on a 15-hour flight to join the movement in Hong Kong in the summer of 2019. Find out why and and her journey on her identity as a Canadian-HKer.

“Born and raised in Canada, I have friends from a diverse ethnic background. It’s hard for them to understand why I feel so strongly about Hong Kong. I tried my best to raise awareness on what was happening, but I always criticized myself wondering, “Am I annoying?”

I felt isolated navigating my identity and politics. I hope that people from Hong Kong will see me as one of them even though I wasn’t born or raised there.”

— Jade

Journalist: Penguine

Photos: Penguine

My name is Jade. I am a 28-year-old web developer. I was born in Canada and I lived in Hong Kong up until I was seven years old.

I have never self-identified as a HKer because, for me, if you’re not born in, raised in or living in Hong Kong, you’re not a HKer. I don’t fit in any of these categories.

A strange feeling of connection to Hong Kong

I have very few memories of living in Hong Kong as I was very young. Despite having lived there only briefly, I feel so strongly about Hong Kong that, to this day, I still don’t fully understand why.

My ‘awakening’ to the situation in Hong Kong and my concern for the city began during the Umbrella Revolution in 2014*. I had heard about it and I really wanted to go back to participate. Since a young age, I was always wary of the Chinese government. I remember being concerned about human rights in Tibet back in grade 11 or 12 during the 2008 Olympics. I was quite invested in the situation—I even wrote an essay about it—but this did not compare with my sentiments for Hong Kong.

My feelings for the Umbrella Revolution were more intense because of my connection with Hong Kong and what it meant to me. Then, when the protests broke out in 2019, it just renewed my HKer identity in a way that I’ve never experienced before.

I had even considered moving back to Hong Kong. I’m still going through a lot of different emotions...

Being present for Hong Kong

Born and raised in Canada, I have friends from a diverse ethnic background. It’s difficult to talk to them as it’s hard for them to understand why I feel so strongly about Hong Kong. I tried my best to raise awareness on what was happening, but I always criticized myself wondering “Am I annoying?”

I had been following the news and live reports in Hong Kong closely from the beginning of the Anti-ELAB protest up until August. It was something that was constantly on my mind all those months.

I felt really helpless here in Canada. No matter how many rallies I attended and how I tried to show solidarity with Hong Kong, I was too far away. Despite doing as much as I could, I felt that it wasn’t enough. Therefore, I decided to take a week off work and go to Hong Kong to join the protests.

Experiencing a different Hong Kong

This trip to Hong Kong was an atypical one.

The main reason for my trips to Hong Kong is to spend time with my mom as she is still living there. We only stay in one area, eating at the specific places that she likes, not really branching out into other neighbourhoods. It is a very curated experience.

This time, I was in Hong Kong for an entirely different reason. I wasn’t there to see my mom—I was there to join the movement.

I didn’t tell anyone in my family except for my brother. It was a big deal for me knowing that my mom didn’t know I was there. My mom is a businesswoman and she is very business-oriented. I didn’t want her to worry, and frankly, I didn’t know how she would react. I wasn’t afraid of being arrested but I was terrified of running into my mom—that was how much of a fear it was.

My other worry was that I didn’t know anyone except my mom. I didn’t know how I was going to the protests with my limited knowledge of Hong Kong. Fortunately, I met some people at the Zine Fair organised by the Ontario College of Art and Design University (OCAD), and someone gave me contacts.

I didn’t know what to expect. I was mentally prepared for anything. After all, I was going to experience Hong Kong from a completely different perspective.

I came back to Canada a week later feeling much worse in a way. I opened a Telegram account and followed all the live channels that report news by the minute. Staying connected has its benefits, but the downside is that being so attached means I wake up each morning fearing that something bad has happened overnight.

I don’t know anyone who had gone back the same way I did, but I’m glad I went back. I know it was the right decision.

Revelations

Realising that life goes on despite the protests is shocking. On the news, the emphasis is always on the protests as if that’s the only thing going on in Hong Kong, but I didn’t know that life goes on as usual. There may be protests on one street, but it’s business as usual on the next. The contrast is striking.

Being there to speak with the protesters also helped me better understand the movement. I tried speaking in Cantonese as much as I could and I understood everything, but I also felt a little uncomfortable at times as I was embarrassed when I couldn’t find the right word to express myself. I felt out of place. However, people there were really thankful for any help that they could receive. They told me, “Make sure you bring this back. Make sure you tell them what we are facing.”

The collective effort in the movement stood out to me the most. Prior to leaving for Hong Kong, I thought being on the frontline was the only way I could make a difference. However, after I arrived, I realized that there were many different roles in the movement according to each individual’s capability.

I’m impressed by the initiative and proactiveness of every individual in this movement. My host and some friends I met in Hong Kong were “school bus drivers” who gave protesters lifts as needed. During rallies, some people sorted the trash from the recyclables while others gave out food to participants. Each role matters in this movement.

The protest culture really hit me once I was there. I realised that I could make a difference.

This is why I am helping out with the ‘Stand with Hong Kong Journalists’ (SWHKJ) exhibition here in Toronto. I felt that the images captured by photojournalists allow people to experience what HKers see in protests from a raw and unedited format. These photos are powerful tools to bring awareness to the movement, much easier than asking people to go to rallies.

Opening dialogue between generations of HK-Canadians

We had a screening about what happened on 21 July at the Yuen Long MTR Station**. That was an interesting conversation because both younger and older HK-Canadians shared their experiences of how they navigated this event and the movement in their social circle.

The media was also a topic raised during the discussion. Someone mentioned that the Canadian media is very one-sided on news about Hong Kong. Even the Chinese newspapers in Canada aren’t very progressive. The importance of media literacy in older generations was also emphasized, especially in regards to diversifying the range of media outlets to which seniors are exposed.

I think open discussion between different generations of HK-Canadians is necessary. I rarely discuss politics even with my own family. I posted about the SWHKJ event in my family group chat to which my aunt responded with a “Thanks.” One cousin said, “Good job.” The rest of my family didn’t respond. I think we need that dialogue.

Identity seeking

I felt isolated navigating my identity and politics.

Prior to going to Hong Kong, I wondered whether I would be accepted there for being foreign born and raised. When I was there, no one made me feel like an ‘outsider,’ but I felt that I didn’t belong.

I’ve connected to a small group of Canadians who are in a similar situation as me. Some of us met through the Zine Fair at OCAD. Although some of us can’t read or write Chinese, we can understand spoken Cantonese. Our Hong Kong heritage connects us.

This community is very important to me. It has really helped when we get together and talk about our identity and our connections with Hong Kong.

I hope that people from Hong Kong will see me as one of them even though I wasn’t born or raised there. I want to associate myself with Hong Kong. I hope people will understand.

I used to say that I’m Chinese-Canadian, but now I would say I’m a Canadian-HKer.

“I am Jade, I am a HKer.”

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Jade | Canadian-HKer reconnecting with Hong Kong: “I felt isolated navigating my identity and politics.”