Keyboard Warrior | Politics dividing generations. We keep wasting time — whose fault is it?
Keyboard Warrior is a post-80s HongKonger who became a fulltime housewife in June 2019. Due to the anti-extradition movement, her relationship with her family changed drastically. Her husband has very different values and she reconsiders whether she should have children under the current situation in Hong Kong.
“How did we get into this situation? I didn’t know that this deadlock in Hong Kong over the past few months would also turn our family upside down.”
I left my last job and became a full-time housewife in June last year. I didn’t know much about politics. Even in the 2014 Umbrella Movement, I didn’t thoroughly understand the issues until the first round of teargas was fired over the government headquarters on 28 September 2014. Then I realised everything had changed. I would never have imagined the same incident happening again on 12 June 2019. The government once again pointed its guns at the people! I knew I couldn’t ignore this anymore.
16 June was the first time I participated in an anti-extradition protest. I was pleasantly surprised to reconnect with friends I hadn’t contacted for a long time and we went to the protest together. But what grieved me was that my family and I were on opposite sides of this event.
What is filial piety?
Since I was little, my father’s friends — the uncles and aunties that I grew up knowing — were in the pro-establishment camp. When I turned 18 and became eligible to vote, I didn’t think deeply on how I should cast my vote. I simply voted for the candidate my father supported. It was not until the last Legislative Council election in 2016 that I really started to think about the vote. I saw highly-educated candidates avow completely ridiculous opinions, and I began to pay attention to the various candidates. At the time I didn’t define them by any labels or colours for their political views. I just didn’t want to pick someone undeserving of that position.
I knew my parents and I had different political views. I didn’t think it was necessary to discuss politics with them, nor tell them who I was voting for. However, our views on the anti-extradition movement could not be more polarised. Even if we don’t say it out loud, our disagreement rises to the surface on social media.
My father thinks that even the highly-educated can be brainwashed, that it is impossible to achieve a ‘so-called utopia’ so we should accept reality as it is. To me that is nonsense.
On my father’s birthday, I asked him out for dinner. He avoided me, “Let’s do it later.” Eventually it was my brother who invited him out for a meal together.
On another occasion I went back to my parents’ house while the TV was on. They usually watch news on either NowTV[*1] or CCTV[*2] (not CCTVB[*3], but the real CCTV!). The news was showing a protester vulnerably sharing her experience of being sexually harassed by the police. My father started to express his ‘theory’ about the truth, and my mother helped add fuel. Eventually I couldn’t stand it anymore and raised my voice, “If you think you are reasonable, why don’t you say it loudly with the doors wide open. Why don’t you give a public talk on the street?”
My father went silent.
I have a closer relationship with my mother. After that home visit, I asked my mother out and tried to explain to her: “I understand that we have different stances, but if you guys are like that when I’m home, it’s hard to start a conversation.”
She replied, “You know how he is. Can’t do anything about that.”
“I will continue calling you guys to meet up, but if the ‘deep-red’[*4] person at home keeps on dodging me, then let’s just call it off.”
There is an old saying; ‘Filial piety is the top of all virtues’. I only wanted to be a dutiful daughter. My father is getting old, I just want to cherish our time together.
I tried to care for them and respect them. However, since the incident on my father’s birthday, every time I am looking forward to seeing my father he will pour cold water on me.
Are our family ties that fragile, such that if we have different opinions then we will stop seeing and talking with each other? Time that could have been spent together is now wasted because of politics. Whose fault is it?
Is there a future for our next generation?
My husband also has a different political stance. He is a very practical person. He believes the economy is of utmost importance. ‘Don’t stop me from earning my living.’ I don’t blame him. He came to Hong Kong from the mainland in his teens. We grew up in different environments, so our views on the world are naturally different. I tried not to go to too many street protests for his sake.
It was then that I found out about online news channels. I had always wished to contribute to the movement, so I started my life as a keyboard warrior. I would make promotional materials for the news channels, translate Chinese news into English so that English readers could get the most updated information. My husband would occasionally put pressure on me, saying that I was putting in too much effort.
Our biggest disagreement lies in whether or not to have children. He is more impatient than I am. As his family is more traditional, every time we meet they will ask about children. Not that I don’t want one, but considering the deficiencies in Hong Kong’s education system and the recent social unrest, how can I be assured that our next generation can grow up in a happy and open environment?
I don’t want my child to go to a traditional school, but international schools are very expensive. My husband says that we can send the child abroad when they grow up, but if we do that in middle school, will they have already received many years of brainwashing education? It might be hard to change their mindset by then.
In the end, I am only striving for reasonable living standards.
Life in Hong Kong is repressive. We are overwhelmed by housing problems. After working for 17 hours each day, you too would find this world bizarre.
Sometimes when I am talking to friends abroad about their lives; their child’s education; social security: I am both jealous and envious. I wish to immigrate too, but Hong Kong is our home — how can I just leave?
Time is slipping away
How did we get into this situation? I didn’t know that this deadlock in Hong Kong over the past few months would also turn our family upside down.
I am only asking for something basic. You don’t have to agree with me, but can you try to enter my world and think from my perspective?
We might have different viewpoints, but can we argue less and not let politics strain our relationship? Time is passing by — can we not spend it in vain but rather cherish each other?
I don’t want to regret not taking care of my parents while they were alive[*5]. I am also facing the dilemma of having children. As the popular saying goes, ‘women should bear children while they are young.’ I am always in a race against time, no matter if it is about the older or younger generation. Who is the culprit?
“I am Keyboard Warrior, I am a HKer.”
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[*1] NowTV: abbreviated from “Network of the World,” NowTV is a pay-TV service provider in Hong Kong operated by PCCW Media Limited. It has the largest number of subscribers and channels among the pay-TV operators in Hong Kong.
[*2] CCTV: China Centralised Television Broadcasts Limited, the state-owned public broadcaster in mainland China.
[*3] CCTVB: a nickname for Television Broadcasts Limited (TVB), the Hong Kong public broadcaster which has been accused of taking the stance of the CCP.
[*4] “deep red”: colour label for those who support the Chinese Communist Party (CCP).
[*5] “Not taking care of my parents while they were alive”: this quote comes from an old Chinese saying, ‘the trees want to stay still but the wind keeps on blowing; the offspring want to take care of their parents but the parents are not alive anymore.’ It describes the situation when everything happens too late.