YBC | Walking with the Youngsters
YBC is just an ordinary Hongkonger who actively supports a group of ‘youngsters’ since the start of the protests, by listening to and walking along with them.
Before last June, I was a “HK pig” [*1] through and through. I was shocked to the core when I heard from my friends what happened during the 12 June rally [*2]. How could it happen in a functioning society?
Since then, I got more involved in the protest movement. I attended different demonstrations and provided supplies for the young people on the frontline.
One time, I met on social media a fellow protester who has long been suffering from a mental health disorder, which had been exacerbated by the protest movement. Having dealt with mental health issues myself before, I thought that my experiences could perhaps help these fellow protesters. Coincidentally, I also met some others with the same vision, and we gradually became emotional supporters as well as material providers for some protesters.
First encounter
As with financial difficulties, we also need to take care of youngsters’ emotional issues.
The youngsters I support are around 10 to 25 years old. My first case was a girl who is only 13 or 14; her economic support was cut off, and she could only afford one meal per day, a piece of bread per meal. She did not want to ask for help from others and only approached us when all her resources had been exhausted.
I still remember the emotional connection I felt when we talked for the first time. I got to know her family’s background and their views on the protest movement. Her family once drove her out of the house, threw away her clothes, deliberately starved her and even forbade her from going to the doctor’s when she was ill. Cases like these are not uncommon, and when young people willingly share all aspects of their lives with you, from life’s hardships, academic struggles and daily life chit-chat, to their safety or injuries, you really feel like you are a part of their family.
How to show kindness and care?
The youngsters experience mental health problems for many reasons, the most prominent being fear and helplessness, which arise from facing an authoritarian government and police brutality. Behind their brave smiles in the papers, there are many emotional breakdowns when they privately retell their narrow escapes or countless nightmares which haunt them all night. They panic day and night when they realise they are being followed, and live like lambs to the slaughter, biting it from simply surviving.
But at the same time, they are also just ordinary people, with everyday problems concerning family, studies and relationships. Family members with polarising political views not only harm relationships but also stereotype teenagers and significantly affect their development. Other youngsters feel lonely and helpless because of fierce opposition from their family and a lack of friends with similar political spectrum. This leads to nihilistic thoughts such as, “the whole world is against me; there’s no value in being alive.” It is very important for them to have someone who would stay by their side, listen to them, and show support and understanding.
Since I have personally experienced mental health issues, I understand how they feel. Survivor’s guilt and depression can lead to self-harm, an attempt to bring oneself emotionally closer to those they thought they have let down. When emotions reach a breaking point, the self-harm may begin. In those situations, having company and support will at least help share and soothe their agony, even though it does not always help them break out of the loop.
The reason these youngsters chose to be on the frontlines is that they desire to contribute to the protest movement, but they have limited academic and financial abilities. They resorted to fighting with their own bodies, even sacrificing their lives.
After all, they are still young—their values may be slightly distorted, especially given the environment in which they are growing up. I think it is essential that they understand the meaning of their own lives, so they see value in it. The value of their existence should not be dependent on their contribution to society, and there is more than one way to prove that they have contributed.
How to share their burden?
It is common to take in their negative energy when you listen to the youngsters to share their struggles. Once in a while, you would hear about cases of attempted suicide, or have an emotional breakdown due to prolonged stress.
Sometimes when I am overloaded with such negative energy, I can’t help but ask myself, “Why am I doing this?” Thankfully, I can cope with my own negative emotions, and I also have a support system. It is easy to get stuck within a negative feedback loop, but once you see reason, you’ll be out of the vicious cycle.
Some people cope by detaching themselves from the situation; but for the youngsters who are facing an enormous amount of pressure from immediate threats, under the fear of being arrested and followed by the police, detachment may not be the most helpful option. I’ve found that by chatting and sharing or doing simple exercises together, we can help lower their negativity.
Of course, we may fall differently on the political spectrum. Despite meeting due to politics, I seldom talk politics with them. In the end, the most important thing is to actively listen and provide support as much as you can.
Social Network
Taking care of the youngsters is like being a social worker without government support and resources. In the beginning, it was quite tough as there were many cases but not enough resources. However, as time went by, I started to accumulate more support for the youngsters in various areas: work opportunities, academic tutorials, career planning advice and life coaching. Although resources are limited, this support network is like another “Yellow Resources Circle”, where everyone can contribute and share their professional expertise and existing social network.
Helping as much as I can
During my time walking together with the youngsters, I have experienced a fair share of failures. For example, when demand for resources exceeded my capacity, I could only help as much as I could spare; at times, I hated to have to give up on following up with cases due to my negative mental state. Some would suggest fundraising as a solution, as they believe Hongkongers to be fairly wealthy on average. But in the current environment, the risk involved in publicly fundraising and seeking help from organisations is too high. Furthermore, some youngsters may have experiences that are not widely understood nor accepted by the public. This means that any resources gathered may not actually reach those in need. In the face of this, all I can do is to support them as best as I can.
Spreading the Message of Mutual Support
There have been failures and hardships in helping the youngsters, but whenever a youngster comes back to treat me to a meal after successfully getting life back on track, it means the world to me. I still remember overflowing with happiness for three days straight the first time a youngster treated me. Some of them who started businesses would also hire other youngsters in need; this eases our load, and more importantly, it passes on the torch of giving back and establishing mutual support.
Under the pandemic and the National Security Law
It may seem like the protest movement had come to a standstill due to the pandemic, but in reality, it has always continued in the background. Perhaps seeing fewer passionate people take to the streets has caused some protesters to feel let down. I am often asked, “Has everyone forgotten what happened? Has the protest movement come to an end?” Personally, I think the protesters have been just as passionate as at the start of the movement. I know that many are working hard in the background and giving their all, supporting the protest movement in their various positions.
Before the passing of the NSL, some fought to prevent this from happening with the aim of protecting fellow protesters and resisting the government. They believed that once the law had passed, it would effectively be “the end”.
On the day when the legislation was announced, I received numerous messages from the youngsters that read, “Goodbye”, “Until we meet again”, “Thank you for everything”. One protestor I know who was charged with rioting and waiting for his court hearing felt as though everything was lost. I want anyone who thinks the same to know that even with the passing of the National Security Law, it is not the end of the world. As their family and friend, I want to guide them to cherish life, to learn to love themselves, to build up self-worth, and to learn how to care for others.
Looking forward
With the pandemic easing and the crackdown on the movement intensifying, many protesters are trying to go back to their work or school lives.
From protesting to returning to daily life we are constantly adapting; some protesters are still suffering from PTSD, or may feel like their efforts in the protests had been in vain, losing hope, and they have no worth and no future. Some might, unfortunately, fall onto the wrong path––all the more reason to help them rediscover their worth and meaning in life by showing them that there is still love and support around.
In every meeting with the youngsters, we talk about what is going on in our lives. “Job interview on the way. Another friend is about to have his court hearing. Every time, I go like it’s the last time before his remand. My own case is coming up, too, haha.”
As soon as we have said goodbye, my tears run down my cheeks. I never cry in front of the youngsters, because I don’t want to lose to their strength and perseverance.
We are being oppressed and eliminated for fighting for the freedom that is rightfully ours, why?
During these tough times, let’s do our best to care for those around us. The fire from the protest may seem to have died out, but I still believe that one day, we will see victory.
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*1 A term for Hongkongers who are apathetic towards current affairs and merely care about the comforts in their personal lives.
*2 On 12 Jun 2019, Hongkongers initiated a rally occupying the area outside the Central Government Offices in Admiralty to demand for the withdrawal of the Extradition Bill. An intense confrontation between the police and protesters ensued, with the police deploying tear gas, bean bag rounds and rubber bullets. Around 80 people were injured as a result.
This article was featured on Apply Daily English Version. See the article @ https://hk.appledaily.com/feature/20200918/22ITZP5OWZHUVCNEN3DSGCYYVA/